Jimmy Janlén "Den Scrummande Konsulten"

En natt i februari pågick det ett livlig twittrande om den fantastiske Chuck Norris, eller åtminstone om hur fantastisk han hade varit om han hade jobbat agilt.

Här är en summering över de nya Chuck Norris skämten som uppstod natten den 19:e februari 2009 (översatta från tyska av okänd). Har jag missuppfattat ursprunget av denna listan skriv gärna en kommentar.

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• Chuck Norris is ScrumMaster and ProductOwner – simultaneously.
• Chuck Norris can do 6-month sprints.
• Chuck Norris wears Timeboxershorts.
• Chuck Norris does not move story cards, he moves the taskboard.
• Chuck Norris does not estimate, he knows.
• Chuck Norris pairs alone.
• Chuck Norris is allowed to appear late at the stand-up.
• Chuck Norris sits on the stand-up meeting.
• Chuck Norris has implemented everything at the planning meeting.
• Chuck Norris writes the code first, then the test.
• Chuck Norris is not afraid of bugs, bugs are afraid of him.
• Chuck Norris does not do Kanban. He does not know limits.
• Chuck Norris does not pull, he pushes.
• When Chuck Norris says “done”, then it’s “done”.
• Chuck Norris does not deploy, he develops on the production environment.
• Just Chuck Norris knows, that a real burn-down requires napalm.
• Chuck Norris has no burn-down chart. Around him everything is already burnt down.
• Chuck Norris answers just two questions on the stand-up meeting. Chuck Norris does not know obstacles.
• Chuck Norris does not prioritize the backlog, he is the backlog
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  och slutligen…
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• Chuck Norris always wins at Planning Poker.

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Fick list-tipset av min flickvän (som i sin tur fick det av en kollega). Tack älskling! 🙂

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För en mer längre och mer komplett lista se klicka här.